It seems the procrastination will not be Twitterized on June 4 or anytime soon in China – Twitter along with other sites have been blocked this week.
While the Twitterverse (mostly expats) will go into a spin about this I thought I’d post up some of those regular posts you’ll be missing out on in the near future:
10 “Man, I’m soooooo busy.” Really? So why are you tweeting this again?
9 “I’m having an awesome time at *insert club/pub*” So awesome that you’re tweeting it. By yourself. In the corner.
8 RT the popular kids “OMFG, Guy Kawasaki just Tweeted something! Quick! Seth Goddin just posted a new blog. Link. Link. Link. RT. RT RT.”
7 “It’s hump day. Only 2 more days till the weekend!!!!” Wednesdays: they happen every week. Man your life is boring.
6 “I have so many emails to answer” Right, so I’ve noticed you tweet a lot but haven’t answered my F*&cking email from last week
5 All day public Twitter conversations. There’s better technology for this (IM,DM, email…) or did you just want everyone to see?
4 “Hey everyone, I have THIS MANY followers” So what? That guy. In that movie. Yeah, he still has a bigger thingy.
3 “Re-Tweet ME! Digg My Link!” We get it, you did something on the Internet. You’re a big boy/girl now.
2 Follow Friday. It’s like one giant… circle thingy.
1 Spamming your friends with an internal monologue of what you’re thinking all day. Like aggregating a top 10 list.
So there you have it. Maybe there are more specific expat Twitter posts which are just as annoying – feel free to add them below and I’ll put them in the article.
*Yes, I originally wrote this on Twitter and has been republished with permission elsewhere but all seem blocked at the moment.
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The self-professed China experts who tweet in Chinese characters but can’t speak, read or write any of it without Google Translate or similar.
People twittering about what they’re tweeting on. That’s some navel-gazing right there.
Or updates to say they won’t reply to tweets for a few hours
“PVG->AMS on KLM. No more tweets for a few hours- bye everyone!”
GTF.
using #gfc or similar hash tags whenever they run into any or every Internet connection problem.
Or blaming Nanny for being kicked off Google. Stop searching for Butt F*ck Sl*ts go Nuts and you may just be okay.
* For more on BFSGN visit one of my colleague’s tribute page – http://www.gusworld.com.au/nrc/bfsgn.htm